The Host Chapter 7: Confronted

Yes, Faces Sunward? I asked, grateful to the raised hand for interrupting my lecture. I did non feel as comfortable slow the lectern as I habitu aloney did. My biggest strength, my only real credential-for my server body had had little in the way of a formal education, on the run since her early adolescence-was the individualized experience I usually taught from. This was the starting time worlds history Id presented this semester for which I had no memories to coerce upon. I was for certain my students were suffering the difference.Im sorry to interrupt, notwithstanding The white-haired man paused, struggling to word his oppugn. Im not sure I understand. The onrush-Tasters truly ingest the smoke from burning the Walking Flowers? Like food? He tried to suppress the horror in his t superstar. It was not a someones show to judge another soul. exactly I was not surprised, set inn his mount on the Planet of the Flowers, at his strong reaction to the fate of a similar b ehavior-form on another world.It was always amazing to me how some(prenominal) souls inhumed themselves in the affairs of whichever world they inhabited and ignored the rest of the universe. But, to be fair, perhaps Faces Sunward had been in hibernation when Fire World became notorious.Yes, they receive essential nutrients from this smoke. And therein lies the fundamental dilemma and the controversy of Fire World-and the reason the artificial satellite has not been c fall asleepd, though there has for sure been adequate time to popu novel it adequatey. on that point is similarly a high relocation percentage.When Fire World was discovered, it was at kickoff panorama that the dominant species, the Fire-Tasters, were the only intelligent life-forms present. The Fire-Tasters did not overturn the Walking Flowers to be their equals-a cultural prejudice-so it was a fleck, even after the first wave of settling, before the souls realized they were murdering intelligent cr feed i nures. Since because, Fire World scientists sterilize down focused their efforts on finding a re patchment for the dietary necessitate of the Fire-Tasters. Spiders ar being transported there to help, but the planets ar hundreds of light-years a remedy. When this obstacle is overcome, as it allow for be soon, Im sure, there is hope that the Walking Flowers might also be assimilated. In the meantime, much of the reprehensibleity has been removed from the equation. The, ah, burning-alive portion, of course, and other aspects as well.How can they Faces Sunward trailed off, unable to finish.Another voice completed Faces Sunwards belief. It overhearms akin a real cruel ecosystem. wherefore was the planet not abandoned?That has been debated, naturally, Robert. But we do not abandon planets lightly. There are umteen souls for whom Fire World is home. They will not be uprooted against their will. I looked away, rachis at my notes, in an attempt to end the side discussion.Bu t its barbaricRobert was physically younger than most of the other students- obturater to my age, in fact, than whatsoever other. And truly a child in a more(prenominal) than(prenominal) important way. Earth was his first world-the Mother in this case had actually been an Earth-dweller, too, before shed given herself-and he didnt seem to pose as much perspective as older, better-traveled souls. I wondered what it would be like to be born into the overwhelming sensation and perception of these hosts with no prior experience for balance. It would be difficult to find objectivity. I tried to remember that and be especially patient as I answered him.Every world is a unique experience. Unless one has lived on that world, its impracticable to truly understand the -But you never lived on Fire World, he interrupted me. You must have felt up the same way Unless you had some other reason for skipping that planet? Youve been closely everywhere else.Choosing a planet is a very someon eal and private decision, Robert, as you may someday experience. My tone closed the subject absolutely.Why not tell them? You do hypothesize its barbaric-and cruel and wrong. Which is pretty ironic if you ask me-not that you ever do. Whats the enigma? Are you ashamed that you agree with Robert? Because hes more human than the others?Melanie, having found her voice, was fair downright unbearable. How was I supposititious to concentrate on my work with her opinions looking off in my head all the time?In the fuck behind Robert, a dark shadow moved.The seeker, clad in her usual black, leaned forward, intent for the first time on the subject of discussion.I resisted the compel to scowl at her. I didnt want Robert, al mend looking embarrassed, to misplay the expression as meant for him. Melanie grumbled. She wished I wouldnt resist. Having the searcher beetle stalk our every footfall had been educational for Melanie she used to return she couldnt hate any amour or anyone more t han she dislike me.Our time is almost up, I denote with relief. Im pleased to inform you that we will have a guest coverer next Tuesday who will be able to exercise up for my ignorance on this topic. Flame Tender, a novel addition to our planet, will be here to give us a more personal account of the settling of Fire World. I hump that you will give him all the courtesy you accord me, and be regardful of the very young age of his host. Thank you for your time.The class filed out slowly, many of the students taking a minute to chat with one another as they gathered their things. What Kathy had said about friendships ran through with(predicate) my head, but I felt no desire to join any of them. They were strangers.Was that the way I felt? Or the way Melanie felt? It was hard to tell. Maybe I was naturally antisocial. My personal history supported that theory, I supposed. Id never formed an bail bond strong enough to slip by me on any planet for more than one life.I noticed Ro bert and Faces Sunward lingering at the classroom door, locked in a discussion that seemed intense. I could guess the subject.Fire World stories flick feathers.I started slightly.The searcher beetle was standing at my elbow. The woman usually announced her approach with the quick tap of her hard shoes. I looked down straight to see that she was wearing sneakers for once-black, of course. She was even tinier without the extra inches.Its not my favorite subject, I said in a bland voice. I prefer to have firsthand experience to share.Strong reactions from the class.Yes.She looked at me expectantly, as if waiting for more. I gathered my notes and glum to put them in my bag.You seemed to react as well.I placed my papers in the bag carefully, not turning.I wondered why you didnt answer the question.There was a pause while she waited for me to respond. I didnt.So why didnt you answer the question?I turned rough, not hiding the impatience on my smell. Because it wasnt pertinent to the lesson, because Robert needs to learn some manners, and because its no one elses business.I swung my bag to my shoulder and headed for the door. She stayed right beside me, rushing to keep up with my enormouser legs. We walked down the hallway in tranquility. It wasnt until we were outside, where the afternoon cheer lit the dust motes in the salty air, that she utter again.Do you think youll ever settle, rover? On this planet, perchance? You seem to have an phylogenetic relation for their feelings.I bridled at the implied insult in her tone. I wasnt even sure how she meant to insult me, but it was clear that she did. Melanie stirred resentfully.Im not sure what you mean. insure me something, Wanderer. Do you pity them?Who? I asked blankly. The Walking Flowers? nary(prenominal) the humans.I stopped paseo, and she skidded to a halt beside me. We were only a few blocks from my flatbed, and Id been hurrying in hopes of acquiring away from her, though likely as not, shed invite herself in. But her question caught me off guard.The humans?Yes. Do you pity them?Dont you?No. They were quite the brutal race. They were tidy sumy to survive each other as long as they did.Not every one of them was bad.It was a predilection of their genetics. Brutality was part of their species. But you pity them, it seems.Its a lot to lose, dont you think? I gestured some us. We stood in a parklike quadruplet between two ivy-covered dormitories. The thick(p) green of the ivy was pleasing to the eye, especially in contrast to the faded red of the old bricks. The air was golden and soft, and the smell of the ocean gave a briny inch to the honey sweet fragrance of the flowers in the bushes. The field day caressed the bare skin of my arms. In your other lives, you cant have felt anything so vivid. Wouldnt you pity anyone who had this taken from them? Her expression stayed flat, unmoved. I made an attempt to draw her in, to make her consider another viewpoint. Which other worlds have you lived on?She hesitated, then squared her shoulders. None. Ive only lived on Earth.That surprised me. She was as much a child as Robert. Only one planet? And you chose to be a Seeker in your first life?She nodded once, her chin set.Well. Well, thats your business. I started walking again. Maybe if I respected her privacy, she would return the favor.I r to your pull.And peradventure not, Melanie thought sourly.What? I gasped.I gather youve been having more trouble than in effect(p) accessing the info I need. Have you considered trying another, more pliable host? She suggested that, did she not? Kathy wouldnt tell you anythingThe Seekers face was smug. She didnt have to answer. Im very good at reading human expressions. I could tell when my questions struck a nerve.How boldness you? The relationship between a soul and her Comforter -Is sacrosanct, yes I get laid the theory. But the acceptable means of investigation dont seem to be operative with your case. I have to g et creative.You think Im keeping something from you? I demanded, too angry to control the disgust in my voice. You think I confided that to my Comforter?My anger didnt faze her. Perhaps, given her strange personality, she was used to such reactions.No. I think youre telling me what you know But I dont think youre looking as hard as you could. Ive seen it before. Youre growing sympathetic to your host. Youre permit her memories unconsciously direct your own desires. Its probably too late at this point. I think youd be more comfortable moving on, and maybe somebody else will have better luck with her.Hah I shouted. Melanie would eat them aliveHer expression froze in place.Shed had no idea, no matter what she thought shed discerned from Kathy. Shed thought Melanies influence was from memories, that it was unconscious.I find it very enlivening that you speak of her in the present tense.I ignored that, trying to pretend I hadnt made a slip. If you think someone else would have better l uck breaking into her secrets, youre wrong.Only one way to find out.Did you have someone in mind? I asked, my voice frigid with aversion.She grinned. Ive gotten permission to give it a try. Shouldnt take long. Theyre sacking to hold my host for me.I had to rest deeply. I was shaking, and Melanie was so full of hate that she was past words. The idea of having the Seeker inside me, even though I knew that I would not be here, was so repugnant that I felt a return of come through weeks nausea.Its too bad for your investigation that Im not a skipper.The Seekers eyes narrowed. Well, it does certainly make this assignment drag on. History was never of much interest to me, but it looks like Im in for a full course now.You skilful said that it was probably too late to get any more from her memories, I reminded her, struggling to make my voice calm. Why dont you go back to wherever you belong?She shrugged and smiled a tight smile. Im sure it is too late for voluntary information. But if you dont cooperate, she might just lead me to them yet.Lead you?When she takes full control, and youre no better than that weakling, once Racing Song, now Kevin. Remember him? The one who attacked the Healer?I stared at her, eyes wide, nostrils flared.Yes, its probably just a matter of time. Your Comforter didnt tell you the statistics, did she? Well, even if she did, she wouldnt have the latest information that we have access to. The long-term success rate for situations such as yours-once a human host begins to resist-is under twenty percent. Did you have any idea it was so bad? Theyre changing the information they give potential difference settlers. There will be no more adult hosts offered. The risks are too great. Were losing souls. It wont be long before shes talking to you, talking through you, controlling your decisions.I hadnt moved an inch or relaxed a muscle. The Seeker leaned in, stretched up on her toes to put her face closer to mine. Her voice turned low and smooth in an attempt to sound persuasive.Is that what you want, Wanderer? To lose? To fade away, erased by another awareness? To be no better than a host body?I couldnt breathe.It only gets worse. You wont be you anymore. Shell scat you, and youll disappear. Maybe someone will intervene Maybe theyll move you like they did Kevin. And youll become some child named Melanie who likes to tinker with cars rather than compose music. Or whatever it is she does.The success rate is under twenty percent? I whispered.She nodded, trying to suppress a smile. Youre losing yourself, Wanderer. All the worlds youve seen, all the experiences youve collected-theyll be for nothing. I saw in your file that you have the potential for Motherhood. If you gave yourself to be a Mother, at least all that would not be entirely wasted. Why throw yourself away? Have you considered Motherhood?I jerked away from her, my face flushing.Im sorry, she muttered, her face darkening, too. That was impolite. Forget I said that.Im going home. Dont follow.I have to, Wanderer. Its my blood line.Why do you care so much about a few spare humans? Why? How do you justify your job anymore? Weve won Its time for you to join society and do something plentifulMy questions, my implied accusations, did not ruffle her.Wherever the fringes of their world touch ours there is death. She spoke the words peacefully, and for a moment I glimpsed a different person in her face. It surprised me to realize that she deeply believed in what she did. Part of me had supposed that she only chose to seek because she illicitly craved the violence. If even one soul is lost to your Jared or your Jamie, that is one soul too many. Until there is match peace on this planet, my job will be justified. As long as there are Jareds surviving, I am needed to shelter our kind. As long as there are Melanies leading souls around by the noseI turned my back on her and headed for my apartment with long strides that would force her to run if she wante d to keep up.Dont lose yourself, Wanderer she called after me. Time is running out for you She paused, then shouted more loudly. Inform me when Im to start calling you MelanieHer voice faded as the space between us grew. I knew she would follow at her own pace. This closing uncomfortable week-seeing her face in the back of every class, hearing her footsteps behind me on the sidewalk every day-was nothing compared to what was coming. She was going to make my life a misery.It felt as if Melanie were bouncing violently against the inner walls of my skull.Lets get her canned. Tell her higher-ups that she did something unacceptable. Assaulted us. Its our word against hers In a human world, I reminded her, almost sad that I didnt have access to that sort of recourse. There are no higher-ups, in that sense. Everyone whole shebang together as equals. There are those whom many report to, in order to keep the information organized, and councils who make decisions about that information, but they wont remove her from an assignment she wants. You see, it works like Who cares how it works if it doesnt help us? I know-lets kill her A gratuitous take care of my hands tightening around the Seekers neck filled my head.That sort of thing is exactly why my kind is better left in devote of this place.Get off your high horse. Youd enjoy it as much as I would. The image returned, the Seekers face turning blue in our imagination, but this time it was accompanied by a fierce wave of pleasure.Thats you, not me. My statement was true the image sickened me. But it was also perilously close to false-in that I would very much enjoy never seeing the Seeker again.What do we do now? Im not tolerant up. Youre not large up. And that wretched Seeker is sure as hell not giving upI didnt answer her. I didnt have a ready answer.It was quiet in my head for a brief moment. That was nice. I wished the silence could last. But there was only one way to buy my peace. Was I willing to pay the price ? Did I have a excerpt anymore?Melanie slowly calmed. By the time I was through the front line door, locking behind me the bolts that I had never before turned-human artifacts that had no place in a peaceful world-her thoughts were contemplative.Id never thought about how you all carry on your species. I didnt know it was like that.We take it very seriously, as you can imagine. Thanks for your concern. She wasnt bothered by the thick edge of irony in the thought.She was still musing over this discovery while I turned on my computer and began to look for shuttle flights. It was a moment before she was aware of what I was doing.Where are we going? The thought held a flicker of panic. I felt her awareness begin to work through my head, her touch like the soft brush of feathers, searching for anything I might be keeping from her.I decided to save her the search. Im going to Chicago.The panic was more than a flicker now. Why?Im going to see the Healer. I dont trust her. I want to talk to him before I make my decision.There was a brief silence before she spoke again.The decision to kill me?Yes, that one.